Exactly what do I have to do to be the person I’m supposed to be?

Exactly what do I have to do to be the person I’m supposed to be?

I’d rather break my own heart than give you the satisfaction

I’d rather break my own heart than give you the satisfaction

How? How could you think this wouldn’t hurt me? How could you think that it was a good idea? How could you think everything would be okay? I swallowed my heart and now it beats in the pit of my stomach Acid rolls into the back of my throat with each painful throb My fists are clenched and I have no idea why I try to shrug but my shoulders are too set in their ways I’m lying to every reflective surface hoping it will believe me I don’t care But my body rejects the sentiment 

How?

How could you think this wouldn’t hurt me?

How could you think that it was a good idea?

How could you think everything would be okay?

I swallowed my heart and now it beats in the pit of my stomach

Acid rolls into the back of my throat with each painful throb

My fists are clenched and I have no idea why

I try to shrug but my shoulders are too set in their ways

I’m lying to every reflective surface hoping it will believe me

I don’t care

But my body rejects the sentiment 

By Agnes Toth. 
By Alexandra Levasseur. 
By Brian Willmont. 
By Emilie Halpern. 
By Melissa Murray. 
A is for Apprehensions Oh hello internet. So my mind has been sizzling today because an eight year old back burner issue finally decided to switch to the front burner and then shut itself off. Allow me to elaborate. Ever since I was in grade five I was struck down with a bad rapid-fire case of the boobies. By the time I was in seventh grade I was beyond the scope of your normal A-DD nonsense. In grade nine I went to various doctors appointments looking into the possibility of having my chest reduced to the C cup of my elementary school days. However, in a preliminary appointment, when my chest was being drawn on with marker I began to cry. I was all of a sudden extremely angry with the world—questioning why I had to change my body in order to accept it, so on and so forth. So everyday I worked very hard to find clothing that fit and minimized the appearance of my thundering tits—it’s at the point where most people do not notice my boobs as a defining feature of mine (until I wear a slightly more fitted top or a strapless dress).  Anyways, I came to the conclusion today that in around 3 years time, when I am twenty-three, I am going to finally get my breast reduction surgery. It’s different now. When I was younger I was unhappy with my body and looking towards the reduction to all of a sudden make myself attractive. Now I absolutely love my body but am beginning to grow tired of the lower back, neck and shoulder pain.  I’m 5’3” with 32Gs—I love my boobs now but they are starting to hurt my back.  The surgery will be a few years out at least but I feel relieved in my decision.

A is for Apprehensions

Oh hello internet.

So my mind has been sizzling today because an eight year old back burner issue finally decided to switch to the front burner and then shut itself off.

Allow me to elaborate. Ever since I was in grade five I was struck down with a bad rapid-fire case of the boobies. By the time I was in seventh grade I was beyond the scope of your normal A-DD nonsense. In grade nine I went to various doctors appointments looking into the possibility of having my chest reduced to the C cup of my elementary school days. However, in a preliminary appointment, when my chest was being drawn on with marker I began to cry. I was all of a sudden extremely angry with the world—questioning why I had to change my body in order to accept it, so on and so forth. So everyday I worked very hard to find clothing that fit and minimized the appearance of my thundering tits—it’s at the point where most people do not notice my boobs as a defining feature of mine (until I wear a slightly more fitted top or a strapless dress). 

Anyways, I came to the conclusion today that in around 3 years time, when I am twenty-three, I am going to finally get my breast reduction surgery. It’s different now. When I was younger I was unhappy with my body and looking towards the reduction to all of a sudden make myself attractive. Now I absolutely love my body but am beginning to grow tired of the lower back, neck and shoulder pain. 

I’m 5’3” with 32Gs—I love my boobs now but they are starting to hurt my back. 

The surgery will be a few years out at least but I feel relieved in my decision.